i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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