Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
