wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
