As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
