Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
