don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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