Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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