Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
