Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
