they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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