Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
