I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
