i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
