I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
