too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
