you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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