I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
