I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
