i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
