She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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