We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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