woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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