We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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