I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
