none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Your tits are I can't wait for
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
