there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
