Sponge bath it is.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
