Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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