Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
