we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
