he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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