Porn is love you can see.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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