Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
