I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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