i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
