I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
