i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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