I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
