just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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