I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
