Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
