Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
