i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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