I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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