That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
