i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
a search helicopter?!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
