I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
