JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
