I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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