I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
